Even though over half of the marriages end up divorced or separated because of infidelity issue, there is hope of surviving infidelity. However saving the marriage requires a united effort of working out together and clearing doubt in the relationship. A saved marriage from infidelity becomes stronger than it was. The processes of saving marriage from adultery require compromise and sacrifices from both partners.
What to do after knowing that your Spouse has been Cheating
To the unfaithful party, it is crucial that you take responsibility for your actions and terminate the affair. Make sure to stop any form of communication with the other person and avoid any future interactions. Involve your partner in the process of ending the affair because it is the first step of winning her or his trust back.
The decision of whether to stay or to end the marriage should be made by two. Make sure you agree together to decide before it becomes one person’s work. Express your hurt feelings openly. Expressing your feelings continuously will give your spouse a chance to apologize and assure you of healing the relationship.
You can take time Apart
After knowing that your partner has been cheating, it may anger and shock you. You can give each other space to heal emotionally and to think what next. Taking some time apart will help you. Use this time to spend time with your loved ones, family, or a spiritual mentor. Processing hurt emotions is not an easy journey, and you will need moral support from friends and family.
You can decide to spend the weekend at your friend’s house as you work out through issues with your partner. It is important for the cheating spouse to be willing, to be honest, and transparent throughout. Some may decide to share phone passwords, allow you to go through messages, and sometimes respond to messages on their behalf. The way to do it may differ from one couple to another, but the main point should be honesty and transparency.
Restoring Communication and Trust
After recovering from the shock and anger of knowing about the affair, you should start evaluating your relationship. Think about your bond and shared goals if any. Find out what values you still hold and have a common ground. Does she or he make you happy? Do you see any future in the relationship? Do you enjoy spending quality time together? If the answers to these questions are positive, then you are on the right path of saving your marriage.
Discuss how you can build the broken trust together. Choose a method that will work for both of you. This can be sharing phone passwords or talking over the dinner about how the day has been among other special experiences. Keeping secrets and lies will erode your relationship, and you will have a difficult moment in saving your marriage.
Work on Forgiveness
Forgiving your spouse does not mean you will forget everything about the affair. Forgiveness is a process and will take time, but eventually, you will heal. Your spouse will have to work hard to win your forgiveness and trust again. Monitor his or her actions. Do their words match their actions, or are they just saying to get away with it? It will take time to rekindle the love between you two and to get over the affair.
Seek help from a Therapy
The journey of healing the marriage is heavy, and you might require professional help. You should both agree on seeking help from a counselor and go together. The marital therapy sessions will help you identify other underlying problems and help you rebuild the relationship. Your counselor will give you books to read and discuss together at home. Depending on how committed you were with the therapy sessions and assignments, it will determine the success of the counseling.
The therapist will help you highlight issues that could hinder you from saving your marriage. Sometimes infidelity could be a symptom of problems that you are already experiencing in the relationship. It is important to identify the core problem and solve it to prevent such issues from reoccurring in the future. Knowing the root cause will make the healing journey easier.
The saying once a cheater always a cheater may not always be true for all relationships. The marriage dream may not be fully shattered. Especially when children are involved, it could save their emotions. There is hope of saving a marriage from infidelity. However, it may not work for all couple for different reasons.