Surviving through a marriage separation does not happen overnight. After separation, you might consider reuniting with your spouse after carrying out a personal analysis of why you would want your ex-husband or ex-wife back. If spouses cannot become honest and open about important issues in the relationship, it will cause long term effects. It is advisable to use a marriage counselor to help you with the reuniting process. Seek wisdom and counsel from couples who have been through the same situation and overcame the hardship. Always remember honesty is the main virtue of applying when reconciling. Be an open book, and you will get positive results.
Steps of reuniting after separation
Take time and think about your Relationship
Did you have an open conversation to talk about the reason for separation? Did your spouse get to know why the relationship did not work? If no, create time and the environment that you can both discuss and have an honest conversation. If you are the cheating spouse, be willing to answer any question asked. For the spouse who was cheated, be open about your feelings.
Find out if there are any changes that took place after you separated. If there are any changes, share them and know how they can help you get back together or will they make you separate more. After separation, couples might decide to start seeing other people and start new relationships. If there is any relationship going on, make sure to tell your partner at the early stages of reconciliation. Upon agreement, you can both chose to end the other relationships and focus on rebuilding your marriage.
Are there any possible decisions that can affect your marriage in the future after reuniting? If you separated for long, does your spouse get children with another partner? How will you plan about the parenting to make sure that it does not harm your marriage? These questions will help you analyze the situation and know what you want from the marriage. If you feel that your expectations will not be met, it is good not to reunite.
Accept your Mistakes
Both of you have you to accept that you made mistakes that contributed to the separation. Be willing to say sorry and to ask forgiveness from each other. Trust, forgiveness, and openness are core ingredients in making reconciliation process effective. Your marriage can be saved from the infidelity of both partners are willing to work together.
Accept new Changes
You should know that the relationship cannot go back to where it was. There have to be simple changes that both need to adjust. If the marriage goes back to where it was, it may lead to the same problems. Desired changes could be an exchange of passwords, updating each other on daily progress, and having a date night where you will talk about life plans and have fun together. You could even subscribe to new interests like couple dancing or gym membership. Changes are inevitable and will help your marriage survive the hard rock.
Appreciate your Spouse
Any effort you notice from your spouse you should appreciate them. You should also make an effort in making the relationship better. Be willing to share what you feel about your partner and be open. If you have the desire to make the relationship work, it will work. The success of the relationship is determined by the mutual effort.
It is not automatic that the relationship will automatically meet your demands. Give each other space and time to think about reconciliation. Every partner needs to know why they need to give the marriage a second chance. Recognize your fault and work on improving them. Give your all in the relationship. Do not force your partner to reunite with you if they do not want. It is not automatic that your spouse will want to give a second chance.
Do not involve your Children until you are sure about the Reconciliation
Do not give your children hope about reuniting with the other parent. Keep them out of the loop until you are sure about your decision. Making children happy only to end up not reuniting will hurt them. If you had taken the court custody, consider lifting it up so that your spouse can freely interact with the parents. A happy reunion will involve both parties and children.
Giving all to reuniting after separation may not work as you wished for. Be ready to head into a different direction if it does not work out. Life does not end at separation and divorce; there is more for you to enjoy.